Ep54 Marriage Advice for Husbands Part 2 - How to Strengthen Your Relationship Through Communication and Understanding

Are you ready to transform your relationships through the power of communication? Join us on the Better Relationships Podcast as we uncover the secrets to identifying and addressing the five primary relationship needs: love and belonging, freedom, fun, power, and safety and survival. Dr. Dar, your Relationship Communication Coach and Healer, takes us on a journey to understand these needs and how they manifest in our daily interactions, offering invaluable tips for nurturing connections with loved ones. Discover how to speak the language of love and belonging through appreciation, active listening, and emotional support. Learn how to infuse fun into your relationship with playfulness and spontaneity, keeping the joy alive.

Embark on a quest for building empowering relationships with strategies centered on reliability, open communication, and mutual respect. Dr. Dar sheds light on the importance of creating a stable and safe environment through dependability and consistent routines. Explore the delicate balance between freedom and togetherness, as we delve into respecting individuality and encouraging personal growth. Gain insights on celebrating achievements and planning adventures, ensuring a fulfilling and exploratory partnership. This episode offers a toolkit for fostering supportive bonds where both partners feel secure and respected.

Get ready to revolutionize your marriage or partnership through empathetic communication and understanding. Unveil the potential of tools like the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to decode your partner's dominant needs, paving the way for a deeper connection. Embrace empathy & acceptance as we discuss strategies for creating shared rituals and thoughtful surprises. Access a wealth of resources through our community, including coaching sessions and educational series, designed to support your journey toward a more meaningful, satisfying relationship. Whet

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Chapters

• 0:00 Building Better Relationships Through Communication
• 10:42 Supporting Empowering Relationships Through Communication
• 25:38 Effective Communication in Relationships
• 38:55 Transform Your Marriage Through Understanding

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:00

Welcome to Episode 54 of the Better Relationships Podcast. Hi, I'm Dr Dar, the Relationship Communication Coach and Healer, and today I'd like to expand on the five primary relationship needs as a communication style. If you have not done so already, please take the Relationship Needs Quiz at needsdardhawkscom that's needsdardhawkscom so that you can learn what your dominant primary relationship need is and receive my Relationship Communication Educational Series. Relationship communication educational series. There are five primary relationship needs that we each have in varying degrees of dominance. They are love and belonging, freedom, fun, power and safety and survival. We all have these five needs in our relationships that are the underlying thing that drives our relationships, our behaviors, our interactions and our communication. I'd like to share examples of how they show up in interactions with your partner. If your partner has a dominant primary relationship need of love and belonging, here are some tips to keep in mind.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Number one express appreciation and affection. Express appreciation and affection Regularly. Tell her how much you appreciate and love her. Simple words like I love you or I appreciate this specific thing that you did for me today can make a big impact. Also, leave unexpected little notes of appreciation and love around the house or send sweet text messages acknowledging her during the day. These small acts of love and appreciation can go a long way in creating a healthy relationship.

Speaker 1: 3:07

Number two be an active, intentional listener. Give her your undivided attention when she's speaking and put away distractions like your phone or the TV. Practice empathic responses to show that you understand her feelings by saying things like that sounds really challenging, or I can see why this is so upsetting. Thirdly, show emotional support. Acknowledge and validate her emotions. Even if you don't fully understand, show that you respect and appreciate her feelings. Provide physical comfort. More often than not, a hug or just holding her hand can convey your support and love without the need for words. Engage in heartfelt conversations. Open up first. Share your feelings and thoughts. This will help build emotional intimacy and shows that you trust her with your deepest, darkest vulnerabilities. Ask her about her day and share about your day. Show genuine interest in her experiences and feelings by asking questions like how was your day, what was the most challenging aspect of it, what was the best aspect of your day and what made you happy today.

Speaker 1: 4:30

Number five have quality time together. Plan date nights regularly, schedule time for just the two of you to connect and enjoy each other's company, and carve out 15 to 30 minutes each day just to be with each other. You could read a book together. You could sit in the room and play a game together. There's so much you can do together. Practice shared activities. Find activities that you both enjoy and can do together, whether it's cooking, hiking or watching a favorite show and talking about it.

Speaker 1: 5:06

Number six acts of service. Help each other with chores. Take on tasks or chores. Taking help with chores, taking on tasks or chores can show that you care and are willing to share the load, and especially when you're sharing the load, it allows you both to get done what needs to get done so that you can have quality time together each evening.

Speaker 1: 5:31

Thoughtful gestures, small acts of kindness, like making her coffee in the morning or running an errand for her, can mean a lot. Be consistent and reliable. Keep your promises and be your word. Follow through on your commitments to build trust and show that you're depend promises and be your word. Follow through on your commitments to build trust and show that you're dependable and be there for her. Make an effort to be present and available, especially during challenging times.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Now for a wife whose dominant primary relationship need is fun and whose communication style is playful and lighthearted. Here are some tips to keep the spark alive and foster a joyful relationship. Number one embrace playfulness. Have a sense of humor, share jokes, funny stories and lighthearted banter to keep the atmosphere cheerful and enjoyable. Teasing Gentle, affectionate teasing can create a fun and flirty dynamic. Just be sure to know the boundaries and keep it respectful. Number two plan exciting fun activities. Adventure dates or organizing activities like hiking, biking or visiting amusement parks can bring some fun into your daily or weekly planning weekly routine. Exploring new places together can be a thrilling and fun experience. Have game nights where you plan game nights with board games, card games or even video games. Friendly competition can also be a lot of fun. Spontaneity is helpful too. Surprise her with spontaneous dates or weekend getaways. The element of surprise adds excitement to the relationship. Also, small, unexpected gestures like bringing her her favorite treat or planning an impromptu dance party at home can be delightful if she's into that kind of thing. It's going to require you paying attention to the things that she enjoys and that light her up, and then planning those and taking the initiative for them.

Speaker 1: 7:48

Number four having lighthearted communication. Send her fun and flirty messages throughout the day to keep the communication lively, and do this consistently. Don't do it one day and then just stop. It's really healthy to do it periodically, on a regular basis. Compliment her in a playful manner like you're not just the queen of my heart, you're the queen of fun too. As an example, number five be open to new experiences. Try new hobbies together. Be open to exploring new hobbies or activities that she suggests. This shows that you value her interests and want to share in the fun. Be willing to say yes more often to spontaneous plans and adventures and that impromptu dance in the kitchen when she's playing her favorite song, even if they're outside your comfort zone. Celebrate milestones with fun, like having themed parties where you're celebrating special occasions or events that match her playful spirit. Give her creative and playful gifts that align with her fun-loving personality.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Maintain a positive attitude. Focus on joy. Keep a positive attitude and focus on the joy and laughter in your relationship. Find ways to make her laugh, whether through funny videos, silly moments or humorous anecdotes. Also, create fun environments where you have conversations on serious topics, but in a lighthearted way, but in a lighthearted way. People who are oriented by fun as their dominant relationship need don't like very serious, tense environments or moods. You really need to stay lighthearted and you can certainly have difficult conversations while keeping things light. If you need help with that, please reach out More than happy to help you with that.

Speaker 1: 9:48

Next for a wife whose primary. Next for a wife whose dominant primary. Next for a wife whose dominant primary relationship need is safety and survival and whose communication style reflects those priorities. Here are some tips for husbands to create a secure and supportive environment. First one you guessed it is creating a safe and secure environment. Ensure that your home is a safe and secure place. Install necessary security measures like locks, alarms and cameras if needed. Make sure she has a comfortable and peaceful space at home where she can relax and feel secure for communication. Create a safe nurturing space and energy and mood where you can talk about serious topics and she feels safe to do so.

Speaker 1: 10:42

You also want to be reliable and consistent. You want to follow through by keeping your promises and commitments. Reliability builds her trust and sense of security. You want to also maintain a stable, predictable and consistent routine. This will help her create a sense of stability and safety, things that she can count on.

Speaker 1: 11:04

Communicate transparently, be open and honest and transparent in your communication. Do not withhold information or be evasive. She will pick up on that and that can also erode trust. If you're not ready to talk, just say can you give me some time to think about it and I'll share. I'm still processing and she should be fine with that as long as you're communicating Regularly. Reassure her of your love and commitment and let her know that she can count on you and that you have her back. Show emotional support by being emotionally present and attentive when she shares her concerns or fears. Listen actively, intently and empathically and empathetically Validate her feelings and experiences. Acknowledge her fears and concerns without dismissing them. I often find that couples will dismiss each other when they're sharing their deepest thoughts, fears or feelings by saying, oh, that's silly. Or oh, come on, that's ridiculous. Or do you recognize how stupid that sounds? Instead, acknowledge her by saying, oh my gosh, I didn't realize you felt that way. Can you tell me more and can you give me some examples? Or have I made you feel that way and can you give me some examples so that I work on that and don't create that fear for you? Fifth, provide physical comfort through affectionate touch. Physical touch like holding hands, hugs or a gentle touch on the shoulder will provide comfort and reassurance and also spending quality time together engaging in activities that help her feel connected and secure.

Speaker 1: 12:48

Number six is a big one. This one's financial security. Work together to maintain financial stability. This includes budgeting, saving, planning for spending. You plan before you spend and then you come back and share how the spending went so that you can compare that to your budget and saving. And also you want to plan together for the future. Have open discussions about financial matters and involve her in decision making to ensure she feels secure and informed. I'm also an advocate of having a dollar amount cap on what you will spend on your own versus what you'll speak together about and share and decide together whether to spend that amount or not. For me and my husband, it's the $500 amount. That may not be within your ability, but having that cap has really helped our relationship to where we talk about things that we want to purchase that are above that cap. Also, a caution here don't go and make an agreement around $100 cap and then make six $100 purchases. That is defeating the purpose of having an agreement around a capped amount that you're going to spend.

Speaker 1: 14:04

Number seven support her goals. Encourage independence by supporting her in pursuing her personal and professional goals. Encouraging her independence can contribute to her sense of security and safety. Be her advocate. Stand by her side and advocate for her needs and well-being, both within the relationship and externally. Number eight address fears together. Having collaborative problem solving by working together to address any fears or challenges she may have, will help you approach problems as a team and find solutions together. Seek professional help if needed Consider seeking it such as counseling, coaching or therapy, to address any deeper fears and concerns. By incorporating these practices, you'll create a strong foundation of trust, security and support that aligns with her need for safety and survival. Prioritizing her well-being and consistently showing up as a dependable partner will help her feel secure and valued in your relationship.

Speaker 1: 15:19

For a wife whose primary relationship need is freedom and whose communication style is independent and open-minded and really open-ended, here are some tips for husbands to create a supportive and respectful relationship Respect her independence. Give her space. Allow her the freedom to pursue her interests and activities without feeling confined or restricted. Encourage individuality. Celebrate her uniqueness and support her in expressing herself authentically. Number two create and cultivate open communication. Honest conversations should be encouraged. Let her know that she can share her thoughts and feelings without judgment, retribution or criticism. Listen actively and attentively when she speaks. Show that you value her perspective and opinions and have open body language. For example, don't cross your arms and frown. You want to have your arms relaxed and your body posture relaxed.

Speaker 1: 16:26

Number three support her goals and dreams. Empower her by encouraging her to pursue her personal and professional goals. Be her cheerleader and support her ambitions. Work together to achieve common goals while respecting each other's individual aspirations as well. You also want to embrace flexibility. Flexibility is really important for people with freedom as their dominant, primary relationship need and communication style. You want to adapt to change by being open to change and adaptable in your plans. Show that you can go with the flow and adjust to new situations. Plan spontaneous and exciting activities as well that allow her to explore new experiences and enjoy a sense of freedom.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Number five build trust and mutual respect. Trust her judgment. Show that you trust her decisions and respect her autonomy. Show that you trust her decisions and respect her autonomy. Say I respect your judgment, I trust your judgment, you can do this. I'm here to support you and avoid being controlling or possessive. Offer support and encouragement while respecting her need for independence. This shows and builds mutual support. Number six encourage exploration, traveling together by planning trips and adventures that allow her to explore new places and cultures. Travel can be a great way to fulfill her need for freedom. Try new activities. Be open to trying new hobbies and activities together. This will also add excitement and variety to your relationship.

Speaker 1: 18:14

Number seven balance togetherness with individuality. I say quality time a lot. It's really important in in a relationship. Spend quality time together, but also make space for individual pursuits. Balance togetherness with opportunities for personal growth and respect her boundaries. Understand them, acknowledge them, validate them and them. Give her the space she needs to recharge and thrive. Number eight celebrate her achievements. Acknowledge success by celebrating her achievements and successes, whether they're big or small or even tiny, and show that you're so respectful and impressed of her accomplishments. Use encouraging and empowering language to uplift her and reinforce her sense of freedom. By embracing these practices, you'll create a relationship that honors her need for freedom and independence. A supportive and respectful partnership will allow both of you to thrive individually while also growing together. Of you to thrive individually while also growing to get, while also next.

Speaker 1: 19:57

For a wife whose dominant primary relationship need is power and whose communication style reflects assertiveness and leadership, here are some tips for husbands to foster a supportive and empowering relationship. Acknowledge and respect her authority. Recognize her strengths. Acknowledge and celebrate her leadership qualities. Let her know you admire and respect her capabilities. Consult with her. Involve her in decision-making processes, whether it's about household matters, finances, your career or other important topics. Show that you value her wisdom, input and expertise. Show that you value her wisdom, input and expertise. Number two support her ambitions. Support her in pursuing her personal and professional ambitions. Be her biggest cheerleader and help her achieve her goals. Offer practical support, such as resources, connections and time to help her succeed in her endeavors.

Speaker 1: 21:04

Number three communicate clearly and assertively. You want to use direct and concise communication. Be clear, direct and assertive in your communication. Avoid beating around the bush and get straight to the point. Otherwise, it will be a frustrating interaction If disagreements arise, express your views respectfully and be open to constructive discussions. Show that you value her perspective, even if you don't agree. Number four show appreciation. Celebrate her achievements and successes by recognizing them. Acknowledge the hard work, dedication, time and qualities she put into them. Use words of affirmation to let her know you appreciate her strength and leadership. Phrases like I really respect the way you did this. These are the qualities that I saw you exhibit along the way. You could also say you inspire me because, or you inspire me to do this because you did this can go a long way, or in how you did this can go a long way.

Speaker 1: 22:04

Number five provide emotional support. Show empathy and understanding when she faces challenges or setbacks. Offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. There's no need to go in and fix it, just listen and ask how you can support her, validate her feelings and experiences and acknowledge the pressures and responsibilities she may be carrying as a leader. Number six share responsibilities in equal partnership. Ensure the responsibilities in the relationship are shared equally. This demonstrates respect and reinforces a balanced partnership. Chip in where you see it's needed. If she's working late one day and you notice the dishes aren't done, do the dishes instead of her having to come home and see them not done, and that will just frustrate her and both of you. So be attentive and notice things that need to get done and take the initiative to help out. Work together as a team to tackle tasks and challenges, and show that you're in this together and value her contributions.

Speaker 1: 23:07

Number seven encourage self-care. Promote balance. Encourage her to take time out and time off for self-care and relaxation. Remind her that it's important to recharge and take breaks. Also, support wellness. Support her to take and schedule activities that promote her well-being, whether it's exercise, mindfulness, hobbies or spending time with loved ones or just sitting quietly out in nature.

Speaker 1: 23:36

Number eight you want to build trust and transparency by modeling honesty. Maintain honesty and transparency always in your communication and build trust by being reliable and consistent in your interactions and your actions and words. Confidentiality is important too. You want to respect her privacy and confidentiality. Show that you are a trusted partner who values her privacy and confidentiality. By embracing these practices, you'll create a relationship that honors her need for empowerment, power and leadership. A supportive and empowering partnership will allow both of you to thrive individually while also growing stronger together.

Speaker 1: 24:25

Now I'm going to share some communication tips and examples with you that are firmly rooted in the five primary relationship needs and communication styles. When your wife's dominant primary relationship need is love and belonging and her communication style is caring and compassionate, connecting with her emotions is key. Here are some heartfelt ways to communicate with empathy when her feelings are hurt. Heartfelt ways to communicate with empathy when her feelings are hurt. Number one give her your full attention. Put aside distractions and focus entirely on her. This shows that her feelings are important to you. Here's an example Gently touch her hand and say I can tell something's bothering you. I'm here and I want to listen when you're ready. Number two validate her feelings. Acknowledge her emotions without judgment. Let her know it's okay to feel the way she does by saying something like I understand you're feeling upset and that's completely okay. Your feelings matter and they matter to me. Number three express empathy and they matter to me. Number three express empathy. Show that you genuinely care about her experience.

Speaker 1: 25:38

By putting yourself in her shoes, you can say something like I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be really tough. Tell me what's going on with your thoughts about this. How are you feeling about it? Tell me more. Number four use affirming language. Reassure her of your love and commitment.

Speaker 1: 25:58

Words can be powerful in healing hurt feelings. You could say something like you. Could say something like you mean the world to me and I want to be there for you in any way I can. How can I support you? Number five ask open-ended questions. Encourage her to share more by asking questions that allow her to express herself more fully. You could say something like can you tell me more about what's making you feel this way so I better understand it? And you could also say how can I support you right now? Number six reflect back what you hear. Paraphrase her words to show that you're truly understanding her feelings. You could say something like it sounds like you felt left out when I didn't include you in the plans. Is that right?

Speaker 1: 26:47

Number seven apologize like you mean it, when needed and from your heart. If your actions contributed to her hurt. Offer a genuine apology without making excuses. You could say something like I'm really sorry that my words hurt you. It was not my intent to hurt you. I didn't mean to and I'll do my best to be more mindful in the future. Can you help me understand why and how those words hurt you in the moment, so I can better understand and support you? Number eight offer physical comfort. Sometimes a loving touch can provide immense comfort. You could give her a warm hug. You could say come here, I'm here for you, and then hug her. Number nine avoid being defensive. Focus on her feelings rather than defending your actions. This will keep the conversation open and supportive. You could say something like I really didn't realize how that affected you. Thank you so much for letting me know.

Speaker 1: 27:48

Number 10, reaffirm your connection. Strengthen your relationship and connection by reminding her of your shared love and commitment. You could say something like we're in this together, we will figure it out, and I value our relationship more than anything. Here are some more tips. Be patient. Give her the time she needs to express herself fully and don't rush the conversation. If she gets emotional and say I'm going to cry, I apologize or I'm sorry, I'm emotional, just say there's no need to apologize. You were sharing your emotions and there's no need to say I'm sorry. So please just share, and if you need to cry, that's okay too.

Speaker 1: 28:31

Avoid minimizing her feelings. Steer clear of phrases like it's not a big deal or you're overreacting or that's stupid, which will make her feel dismissed. Check in later on. Follow up with her afterwards to see how she's feeling. This will show ongoing care and concern for her well-being. Create shared rituals, rituals and established routines. Create closeness, things that she can count on, like a nightly walk or a weekly coffee date to nurture that sense of belonging. Surprise her with thoughtfulness. Small gestures like leaving a sweet note in her bag or bringing home her favorite treat occasionally can make her feel loved and cherished. By embracing these approaches, you're not just addressing the immediate hurt, but also building a stronger, more empathic relationship. But also building a stronger, more empathetic relationship. Love and belonging thrives when both partners feel seen, heard and valued.

Speaker 1: 29:41

Now I want to guide you in understanding the challenges associated with each dominant primary relationship need and communication style to help husbands communicate more effectively with their wives. Here's an example. Here's an expanded look at each communication style and dominant primary relationship need, the challenges that may arise and a few scripts to help you navigate them. For love and belonging, the challenges consist of emotional sensitivity, where your wife may feel deeply hurt by perceived neglect, lack of affection, lack of attention or just sensitive to the words or the way you said it, the tone of voice. There could also be a fear of rejection, with a strong desire for acceptance, and any signs of distance or withholding can cause anxiety. There could be a need, a deep need, for emotional connection. Without deep emotional bonds, she may feel disconnected and unfulfilled. Here are some communication strategies and scripts for you.

Speaker 1: 30:45

Offer reassurance by saying something like I want you to know how much you mean to me. Your presence in my life just makes everything better. You will see her light up with these scripts, to be honest. The second one is to validate her feelings. You could say something like I can see that you're feeling upset and it's completely okay to feel that way. Please know, I am totally here for you. Number three initiate quality time by saying something like let's spend the evening together, just us. Maybe we can cook dinner and watch a movie you like. Number four express affection regularly. You could say something like I love you more every day. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are and especially for how you show up for me every day. Here's an awareness tip for you Be present. She values your undivided attention. Ensure you're fully engaged when spending time together, and consistency matters to her. Regular expressions of love help her feel secure and cherished.

Speaker 1: 31:55

For the woman in your life who has fun as their dominant primary relationship need and communication style. Here are the challenges. She could get bored with routine. She could get restless with too much predictability. She may also avoid serious issues and prefer lightheartedness, which will make addressing serious topics difficult. She also may need spontaneity. She also may need spontaneity. Rigidity can feel stifling and will lead to frustration. Here are some communication strategies and scripts. Inject playfulness by saying something like I was thinking we could have a picnic in the living room tonight Blankets, snacks, the whole deal. Number two suggest new adventures by saying something like there's salsa dancing class this weekend. Want to give it a whirl with me and try it out? Number three keep conversations light by saying something like what's the most hilarious thing that happened to you today? Number four Hilarious thing that happened to you today? Number four approach serious topics gently and lightly. You could say something like I value our fun time so much and I wanted to chat about something important so that we can ensure and I wanted to chat about something important to ensure we keep enjoying them together. Here's an awareness tip for you Embrace flexibility, be open to changing plans and trying new things, and balance is key. Find ways to incorporate fun daily, even when dealing with your responsibilities. Make them fun.

Speaker 1: 33:39

If your partner's dominant, primary relationship need is safety and security, here are the challenges to be aware of. Anxiety over uncertainty, changes or unpredictability can cause significant stress, so try to be consistent. She may have trust issues and may need extra assurance that you're dependable. She may be sensitive to conflict. Disagreements can feel threatening to the relationship's stability. Here are the communication strategies. Provide reassurance by saying something like we're going through this together and I'm committed to making sure we come out even stronger together. You want to establish routines by saying something like how about we set aside time every evening to talk about our day? I think it could help us stay connected. Be transparent by saying something like I wanted to share my thoughts on our upcoming plans so that we can make sure we're on the same page. Number four address conflicts calmly by saying something like I understand this is important to you. Let's work through it together. Here are some awareness tips for you. Consistency builds trust. Regular actions that match your words will strengthen her sense of security and security in the relationship and with you. Listen actively, pay close attention to her concerns without dismissing them.

Speaker 1: 35:07

If your wife's dominant, primary relationship need is freedom, here are the challenges to be aware of. She'll have a desire for autonomy. She may feel confined by too much togetherness or control. She may resist expectations. Imposing expectations can lead to feelings of suffocation. She may have a need for personal space. Time alone is essential for her well-being.

Speaker 1: 35:35

Here are the communication strategies for you. Encourage her independence by saying something like I love how passionate you are about your interests. Please let me know how your pottery class goes and enjoy your time there. Is there anything that you would like me to take care of while you're gone? Number two offer support without pressure by saying something like if you ever want to plan a solo trip or a weekend getaway with friends, I'm all for it. Number three discuss boundaries openly by saying something like I want to make sure I'm giving you the space you need. Is there anything you'd like me to know? Number four share your feelings respectfully by saying something like I enjoy our time together and also respect our individual time. What are some ways we can balance both on a daily basis? Here's your awareness tips. Avoid clinginess. Respect her need for autonomy without taking it personally, and don't try to control her or anything in her life or anything that she does. Trust is essential. Show that you trust her decisions, respect them and support her independence.

Speaker 1: 36:54

If your partner's dominant, primary relationship need is power, here are the challenges to be aware of. She may have a desire for control. She may prefer to lead, which can lead to imbalanced power dynamics in your relationship. She may be very assertive. Her direct communication can sometimes be perceived as harsh. So you really need to work on practicing and listening from the space of paying attention to her words so that they don't feel as abrupt and harsh and understand that she's just an assertive person. She probably has high standards, expectations for herself, and others can create pressure on you and herself. Here are the communication strategies Acknowledge her strengths by saying something like I really admire your leadership at work and in your charity work.

Speaker 1: 37:54

I can see that you're making a real difference. Collaborate on decision-making by saying something like let's put our heads together on this. Your insights are always valuable to me. Respect her opinions by saying I see where you're coming from and I appreciate you sharing your perspective, and there's no need to share yours. Just stop right there so that she can soak in your appreciation. Number four address conflicts constructively by saying something like I think we both have some really strong ideas about this. What are some ways we can find a solution that works for both of us? Here's an awareness tip Avoid power struggles and instead focus on partnership rather than competition. Provide support by encouraging her goals and offer help when asked or when appropriate and ask her before diving in to help.

Speaker 1: 38:56

Here are my final thoughts, understanding your and your wife's dominant primary relationship need and communication style can truly be a transformative step that is simple to strengthen your marriage. If you're interested in diving deeper, I invite you to join my community, where you'll find resources, support and insights from others on the same journey. You can join my community by taking the Primary Relationship Needs Quiz to discover your dominant primary relationship need and communication style. This quiz can provide you with valuable insights right away into how you can relate to your partner differently and offer guidance on enhancing your connection based on your styles. You will also receive my Relationship Communication Educational Series as my gift to you.

Speaker 1: 39:49

By exploring each other's dominant primary relationship need and communication style together, you can cultivate greater empathy, acceptance of each other's differences, improve communication and build a more fulfilling, satisfying, longer-lasting relationship. I would love to have you with me on this path towards deeper understanding and lasting love. You can go and take the quiz at needsdrdarhawkscom and once there, you'll receive special savings on coaching sessions with me, access to other quizzes and, of course, my monthly newsletter with more tips and strategies and announcements of when my podcast is going to be released. Thank you so much for being here with me. Please subscribe to my podcast on your favorite platform and truly I'm grateful for your time and energy.