Ep53 Marriage Advice for Husbands Part 1 - Keys to a balanced and loving partnership

Unlock the secrets to a fulfilling marriage that you define on your own terms. In this enlightening episode of the Better Relationships Podcast, hosted by Dr. Dar Hawks, we promise to provide you with personalized insights into building and maintaining a healthy, equal partnership. Moving beyond societal norms, we encourage husbands to delve into open communication and emotional intimacy with their partners. By having heartfelt conversations about roles, expectations, and needs, you'll learn how to align your relationship with both of your values, fostering a deeper connection and mutual support.

Explore the art of fostering equality and healthy communication within your relationship. Dr. Dar discusses how to maintain balance and address imbalances where they exist, highlighting the importance of using "I" statements to express feelings and taking personal responsibility for emotions. You'll discover strategies to nurture lasting partnerships through planning, managing emotions, and supporting each other's goals. Learn how consistent quality time and nurturing shared interests can solidify the emotional bonds that are crucial for a thriving relationship.

Uncover the transformative potential of relationship coaching as an empowering tool for overcoming communication barriers and enhancing connection. Dr. Dar shares how having a coach can offer judgment-free support and accountability, aiding both individuals and couples in achieving their relationship goals. With practical advice on setting ground rules for respectful dialogue, scheduling important discussions, and seeking professional guidance, this episode is your guide to creating a harmonious and healthy partnership. Let us provide you with the skills and insights you need to navigate challenges and embrace a future of love and understanding.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Chapters

• 1:01 Marriage Advice for Husbands
• 16:27 Building a Healthy, Equal Partnership
• 30:53 Strengthening Relationships Through Communication and Support
• 38:12 Effective Relationship Coaching

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:01

Welcome to Episode 53 of the Better Relationships Podcast. I'm Dr Dar Hawks, relationship Communication Coach and Healer, and today I'd like to talk with you about marriage advice for husbands. The truth is, I've been attempting to create this podcast for you for 30 days. I think it's because I'm obviously not a husband and try as I might to put myself into the shoes of a husband, it's just not something I can do, so I'm just going to share what I've learned from working with couples for many years, as well as from my own relationships and marriage experience.

Speaker 1: 1:50

Took realizing that my ideas about what a marriage looks like wasn't defined by me. It was defined by. It was defined by Hollywood, disney, harlequin, my parents, for sure, and all the other adults around me, and relationships that I observed in the workplace through co-workers and their personal relationships, as well as interactions with managers and the higher-ups. The thing is, we have heard so many sayings Marriage is hard, marriage takes hard work, marriage is a two-way street. Oh, just overlook the things that bother you, because your marriage is worth it. I can't even list all of the sayings that I've heard over my years on this planet that I've heard over my years on this planet here. There's just so many of them. If you have some, please share them with me. Send me some fan mail and drop in some comments, because I want to hear about the sayings that you've heard my coach to acknowledge and accept that. Accept everything I said about learning, about relationships not coming from me but from the outside world, and then having to unlearn everything that I specifically did not choose for myself or for the relationships that I wanted to have or the type of relationship I wanted to have. This recognition of what are not my ideas and the unlearning of them was freeing in so many ways. Really, sit down and get clear about who I am, what I stand for, what I'm about in the world, what causes are important to me, what are my values, what are my needs and requirements? How do I want to feel in my relationships? How do I want those in relationship with me to feel? What does support look like? Those in relationship with me to feel what does support look like?

Speaker 1: 4:09

There's a lot to unpack and, contrary to popular belief and the mainstream media, marriage does not have to be defined by society, religion, legalities, culture, tradition, your parents or even friends and other family members. Here's the deal you have the power to choose what is best for you, what is aligned with who you are and what you stand for, and what's best for you and your partner together and what's best for your partner. So marriage is defined by you and your partner, along with your values, roles, requirements, needs, commitment, agreements, objectives and communication. It is truly about what you both choose, what you both want to create and actually what works for you and both of you. Husbands may not be fully aware that they play a significant part and role in creating and maintaining emotional intimacy, ensuring harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Let's talk about communicating and understanding your role now.

Speaker 1: 5:17

I've noticed in working with couples for the last couple of decades that they do fall into this default way of being in their relationship, when they could just really sit down and talk about all the things going on in their life and household and who's best to address them, who's best to take accountability for them, who has the strength to do it, who has the skills to do it, who has the desire to do it. And then the things that you don't enjoy. Split those up too, and I'm going to talk about that in a little bit. But one of the first, most important steps is truly having an open, heartfelt conversation with your wife, with your partner, about your role as a husband. Share what being a husband means to you. After you've given it some thought, Ask her what her expectations and needs are from the role of a husband and, of course, from you. By listening intently to what she says and how she says it, you can then surface and discuss any gaps between your expectations and her expectations, along with the reality of what you can and cannot commit to. If you're wondering whether it's too late to have this conversation, I say it is never too late and it's never too early. Having this conversation now and then periodically checking in with each other is a good idea in the spirit of nurturing a healthy relationship. Getting on the same page for each of your roles is a great start towards creating emotional connection and, frankly, a healthier marriage.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Working with couples for over 20 years has taught me that these are the elements that are key to a happy and healthy marriage. The first one is emotional intimacy. Being emotionally connected through daily appreciation, affection and heartfelt, open communication is the most underrated relationship skill and yet is the one that builds closeness, safety, support, open communication and love in your relationship. The second one is shared financial responsibility. Oftentimes, couples just don't have fun looking at numbers. You know one partner may be really skilled at it and the other isn't, or we just don't want to look at it or we don't want to carve out time to do it, so it defaults to one partner and not the other. But here's the thing being open and honest about your money, habits, goals and dreams is really important, and doing that together is crucial.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Work together to set and achieve individual and shared financial goals. Learn how to talk about things that you learned about money and identify your behaviors and be able to hear what your partner sees about your relationship with money and vice versa. Identify what sharing and fairness looks like if you both have different income levels. Have verbal agreements with each other and review your finances together at least quarterly, but honestly I think you should do it monthly. Have a scheduled time on your calendars where you're both going through the bills together and paying them together and looking at your financial picture together and looking at your goals together. Don't defer to one or the other to just handle the finances bills, saving or spending in your partnership. Do it together. You both can support each other in accomplishing your goals. You can support each other in refraining from making a emotional or impulsive purchase that ultimately doesn't forward your financial goals. Having that support in partnership around all things money is a great way to build a successful, thriving relationship.

Speaker 1: 9:42

Is it hard to do if you don't typically do it? Absolutely. Can you learn how to do it together as a couple without getting into fights? Absolutely. Is it hard to look at yourself and admit, oh my gosh, I'm such a spender, I love my Starbucks coffees and I love going there every day. Absolutely it's hard. But when you look at your goals together and you look at is my weekly or daily Starbucks stop? What's the impact it's having to my financial goal and my future? Then only when I see it in black and white through financial documentation can you make behavior and honestly, I never used to really look at my numbers. But once I started doing that, my behavior started changing. I was not spending where I used to spend and I started to save and have more money in my accounts and in savings that would multiply and just stop spending frivolously. That doesn't mean that I don't spend and get things that I may want or save for them, but I'm very conscious because I look at my numbers and where my money's going and where I'm really flushing it down the toilet versus keeping it in a safe, if you will. So I think it's really important to do that, and you've got to create a safe environment where you both can just talk about it openly and honestly. It's really hard to acknowledge money, behaviors and things that we may not be proud of, but it's really important to do that.

Speaker 1: 11:27

Also, looking at your shopping behaviors, I think that retail therapy really is not a real thing, and the reason why I say that is because it's short-lived, so you might spend money and feel good in the moment, but it's a delay tactic to not look at yourself or look at how you're feeling, or look at what is bothering you. And when you learn the emotional management skills and really looking at before you go to retail therapy as a default and, by the way, it's not your fault We've been taught to be consumers, we've been taught to be spenders, but when you spend some time to just sit and look at what am I feeling, what is this urge to go and spend right now and put in a rule to wait three or four days before you actually spend the money, you will notice that that desire for that thing disappears. Like that really happens for me. If I see something and it's like, oh, I'm ready to buy and click the buy button, I just have a rule to wait, sleep on it. A few days later I'll go to that webpage and it's like, oh, I don't even need that. I don't know why I was looking at that. So those are some examples of what I do in my life and maybe they'll help you of what I do in my life and maybe they'll help you.

Speaker 1: 12:43

But really looking at your behaviors around money and saving and spending and see where you and your partner are aligned and where you're not aligned will save you from a lot of conflict later on. And then talking about ways to get on the same page and allowing flexibility with your difference. Talking about money and setting up structures for money is such a personal Solve. Things when you're not on the same page is really helpful to facilitate open, honest and clear about it. And by then emotions are flaring and the right words don't come out. So you want to talk regularly. I'm going to talk a little bit more about communication and what that balance. Responsibilities are really important as well. You want to share the load and balance responsibilities fairly. I will talk a little bit about how that looks and what that could look like.

Speaker 1: 13:33

Active listening Attentively listen to what your partner says. Drop everything Before they speak. Ask how they would like you to listen. Here are some examples. Do you want me to judge? Would you like me to listen to ask you questions, to sort through it yourself? Would you like me to listen and then help you fix it or address it? Or do you want me to just listen and wait for you to ask me questions? Let them tell you and then do what they ask. Learning listening skills is so important. You could just say how can I support you with this? Let your partner finish their thoughts before responding. I've found that starts talking as soon as the silence happens. I'm guilty of. If there's a significant pause.

Speaker 1: 14:15

You may want to add more time or there provide household chores and agree to how frequently or when they're going to be done. When will they be done during the week? Or is it just that we're going to get it done each week? Then see if anything that's left over. You want to see which one of those can you do together. Maybe folding laundry together is a nice thing to do. Maybe cooking dinner in the kitchen and cleaning together is a nice thing to do.

Speaker 1: 14:41

I find that many couples have their own responsibilities, but they don't have team events, things that they participate in as a team. When it comes to household chores and responsibilities, it is important to do things together. Effective partnerships distribute household chores, financial duties, child care, etc. Equitably. This balance prevents resentment from building up and ensures that both partners feel valued and supported. Regular discussions about expectations and responsibilities can help maintain this equilibrium. It is manageable have partners that are just so giving and so caring supported.

Speaker 1: 15:22

So this equitable bit is really important if you're married to someone that's so very giving, because when they start getting busy, they will continue to do all the things that they were doing for you, but they will start to resent it over time because they're so busy and they may expect you to notice that their schedule is so busy and so overrun. They may expect you to take some of the load off of them, but because the habits that you have previously haven't created the space for you to take on more, you may not notice it. So just avoid that right away, right out the gate, and let them know I appreciate your so giving, but I can do my laundry each week. That's just an example. And they might say something like listen, I'm already doing the laundry, I don't mind, just adding yours to it. You could say I understand, but it's my laundry, I will take care of it. And when I'd like you to help me out with it, is it okay if I just ask you?

Speaker 1: 17:00

Those are great ways to find that equality in the balance of the workload and they won't feel taken advantage of and you won't be in a position where you're unconsciously taking advantage. Also, being a healthy, equal partner, you want to treat each other as equals in all aspects of your relationship. This builds respect and trust and emotional connection. The other thing is, each of you has to also see yourself as an equal in the relationship. I find that one partner or the other, oftentimes, when I ask them questions about what equality looks like, they don't truly feel like they're an equal or that they're treated as an equal. So ask each other if there's any area of your relationship where you don't feel like you're an equal, and then talk about ways to help each other move forward and move towards feeling and embracing that equality. Ask each other what they need from each other in order to feeling and embracing that equality, ask each other what they need from each other in order to build that sense of equality.

Speaker 1: 18:02

It's also important to have a healthy relationship mindset. You want to maintain a positive and healthy outlook about your relationship. Talking about each other in a respectful, appreciative and loving way with others is one way to demonstrate a healthy relationship mindset. Are your thoughts and feelings healthy about your relationship and your partner? If you find yourself in a critical, judging mindset, then chances are you're going down a path of not having a healthy relationship mindset and seeking professional help to help you shift. That is really important. Practicing healthy behaviors is also important. You want to engage in habits and behaviors that promote the well-being for yourself and your partner and the relationship. Instead of criticizing each other, for example, support each other. This one is really close to my heart as a relationship communication coach and healer.

Speaker 1: 18:59

Learning and using diplomatic difficult topics or things that are really bothering you, staying calm and managing your own emotions as you talk with each other will help you communicate to connect rather than shut each other down. Take time to plan what you want to convey, along with your asks for support from your partner before you go and have the conversation. Also, make sure your emotions are in neutral space. Oftentimes I find couples want to handle it head on and just go. Take care of it. Chances are it's not going to go well. So if you take the time to plan what you want to say, how you want to say it, the outcome that you want, how you want your partner to feel when you're talking about this, and how you want to feel, and making sure that you're not doing it when you're emotionally charged, will help ensure your conversation goes smoothly. Carefully choosing the right words and thinking about the reaction or response will also help you plan. Get clear about why you want to have this conversation, what benefit will it give you and your partner, and what outcome you want to create or have happen. Then communicate all of that with your partner as well.

Speaker 1: 20:15

Open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It cultivates trust and understanding between partners and enables them to share their thoughts, feelings and concerns without fear of judgment, retribution, accusations, arguing or fighting. When you communicate openly with your spouse, you build a foundation where both of you will feel heard and valued. Also, not avoiding conversations is really important, or getting clear about why you avoid conversations. I find couples avoid each other a lot because they don't want to hurt each other's feelings, or they think it'll just magically go away and get handled, or they just want to avoid the difficulty of the conversation in any reaction. This is a skill that takes time from reacting emotionally. Learning this and helps you address issues and get them handled promptly before they escalate in a calm manner.

Speaker 1: 21:17

Diplomatic communication requires coming from a space of openness and possibility rather than critical, emotional or judgmental approaches. You really do need to be in a neutral state of mind and being to have healthy conversations. Here are some tips Use I statements Instead of saying you never listen. Try, I'm feeling unheard when we don't discuss things or we avoid each other. Show empathy. Acknowledge your partner's feelings by saying I understand that you're upset and actually I don't really like that one because it's kind of accusatory and can create defensiveness and upset. A better way to say it is I understand that I did or said something that upset you. Please share specifically what that is so that I become aware of it from your perspective and can work on resolving it with you.

Speaker 1: 22:13

Avoid blame. Focus on how actions made you feel rather than blaming yourself or your partner, you also want to manage your energy, take care of yourself so that you can bring your best self to the relationship. This also means ensuring that you manage your own emotions and take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. Your partner does not control that. Becoming and being a healthy, happy partner goes a long way in creating a relationship that lasts. And becoming a healthy and happy partner is your accountability, not your partner's, because happiness comes from within.

Speaker 1: 22:52

Schedule quality time regularly daily. Making time for each other daily shows that you both hold each other in high esteem and importance, which builds a closeness that feels so comfortable, accepting and what I call home, sweet home. I find that couples get so busy and focus on their kids schedules and getting things done around the house and their to-do lists that they often don't have time for each other, and I don't think weekly date nights are enough. To be honest, carve out 15 to 30 minutes for each other each day and let your children know that is your private time for the two of you to connect and give them things that they can do so that they learn. My parents are interacting with each other and taking time out for themselves. They're going to learn healthy relationship behaviors through you modeling it.

Speaker 1: 23:46

One more thing you really want to support each other. Supporting each other with your goals, aspirations and dreams is one of the sexiest things you can do to break up proof your relationship when you feel seen, heard, understood and supported. It's comforting. It's like crawling into a warm bed on a very cold night kind of comfort. Being actively interested, involved and engaging, while offering encouragement and providing emotional and practical assistance when asked and when you see that it's needed, shows you support each other and your partner. Check in to see how they're doing with a specific goal or dream and ask how you can support them with the next step or moving forward. Shows you care deeply about your partner. Be their champion and cheerleader and allow them to be that for you. By supporting each other, you build a foundation of trust and resilience, ensuring that both partners feel valued, understood, and you will create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship in the process. You will create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship in the process. These techniques create an environment where both of you feel respected, trusted and understood, which then will make it easier to tackle difficult conversations down the road. Here's my definition of a healthy partnership A healthy, equal partnership in marriage is characterized by mutual trust, respect, open communication, shared and individual interests and shared responsibilities. Both partners contribute equally to the relationship, valuing each other's opinions and decisions. This balance allows for a supportive environment where you both can thrive.

Speaker 1: 25:33

Now I want to talk briefly about the importance of emotional intimacy in your relationship I can't emphasize this and to feel heard, to be understood and supported for support of each other's rights, having our backs always and in all ways. I think that men and women both want this from each other too. It's not gender specific. Emotional intimacy forms the backbone of a strong marital relationship. It involves sharing your own innermost thoughts and feelings with each other. When you prioritize emotional intimacy, you create a safe space for authenticity. That's essential for long-term satisfaction and happiness. And, by the way, emotional intimacy translates to happiness in the bedroom too. To begin building emotional intimacy, it's a great idea to first learn what each of your primary relationship needs and communication styles are. You can do that by taking my primary relationship needs quiz at needsdardhawkscom that's needsdardhawkscom and ask your partner to take it too. Wwwdrdarhawkscom, and ask your partner to take it too. You'll both learn about the five primary relationship needs and communication styles, each of your dominant styles and how they impact your relationship, communication and day-to-day interactions.

Speaker 1: 27:03

A healthy marriage is not just about loving each other, but also about nurturing the emotional connection that draws you closer together in a sustainable way. Now I want to talk about overcoming barriers to effective dialogue. Barriers such as misunderstandings, assumptions, expectations and emotional reactions can hinder effective communication. Here's how to overcome them. Clarify intentions. Ensure that you clearly state your intentions to avoid misunderstandings. Stay calm. Manage your emotions to prevent escalation. Ask questions. Confirm your understanding by asking clarifying questions, like I want to ensure I understand. Is this what you mean by that? By addressing these barriers proactively instead of reactively, you pave the way for more productive, connected and meaningful conversations.

Speaker 1: 28:06

I also want to touch on the importance of listening in your marriage. Listening is just as crucial, if not more important, as speaking and maintaining healthy dialogue. Listening goes beyond merely hearing words. It involves understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. It also involves assessing the actions, behaviors and body language and alignment with the words and actions. When you listen actively and intently, you show your spouse that their feelings, opinions and actions matter. This will strengthen your emotional intimacy and trust If you want to assess how well you listen to your partner right now. Take my listening quiz at listendrdarhawkscom to self-assess how well you listen when communicating with your partner. Invest a few minutes to ensure that both you and your partner feel heard and respected, both during and after a conversation. You can both take the quiz after a conversation and see how you did in order to improve your listening and talk about it. By emphasizing open communication, practicing diplomatic dialogue, overcoming barriers, improving communication skills and improving listening skills, husbands can significantly contribute to a healthier and more satisfying marriage.

Speaker 1: 29:34

I want to talk now about common sources of conflict in marriages. Understanding the common sources of conflict is essential for managing these conflicts if they arise. Some frequent areas of contention I have found include financial disagreements. Areas of contention I have found include financial disagreements. Household responsibilities, division of chores and parenting duties can often lead to disputes. Communication issues, misunderstandings, expectations, assumptions and lack of open dialogue can result in ongoing tension. Intimacy concerns, mismatched expectations around physical and emotional intimacy can create disconnects and extended family interference. Identifying these sources early can help you address them proactively, preventing escalation and avoidance. Here are some brief techniques for calm conflict management Stay calm, practice deep breathing or take a short break to cool down before discussing sensitive topics, or take a few days to get clear and plan your conversation and let your partner in advance say let your partner in advance know hey, this weekend I would like to carve out half an hour to an hour to talk about things that are bothering me.

Speaker 1: 30:54

It's not about you, I just want to have a conversation and see if we can improve this area of our relationship. Now they might say, oh okay, yes, let's carve out time. I'm happy to do that later today if you'd like, or let's do it now. Just say I want to plan and take time to think things through before we talk and I'm just letting you know I want to carve out time this weekend. Now, if you're married to a giving person, it's going to bother them and they're going to be thinking about it, so you may want to consider that and just wait to let them know to carve out time and schedule time on your calendars.

Speaker 1: 31:30

Use I statements. Express your feelings without blaming your partner. For example, I feel hurt when I feel like this situation is escalating, and here's why Pay full attention to seeking compromises. Aim for solutions that satisfy both of you rather than winning. Set some ground rules. Agree on respectful behaviors during disagreements, such as no shouting or name calling, and also agree on what you're both going to do if those behaviors do show up, so that you both know what to do if it happens. Because I find that when disrespectful behaviors are starting in dialogue, when you're interacting, they tend to escalate if you try to stop them. So you want to go ahead and have an agreement about what each of you are going to do should they happen, schedule date nights and set aside regular time for date nights, but also daily time for the two of you, whether it's dining together or a cozy night at home or 15 minutes sitting in the living room talking about your day. That consistent alone time is really important to strengthen your relationship.

Speaker 1: 32:45

Having open conversations where you can share your dreams, fears and aspirations with each other is really important, because this deepens your understanding and appreciation of each other. Just saying, listen, I have this fear that you're going to leave me one day and your partner says that's ridiculous. I understand that's ridiculous, but I have this fear. What can we do to ensure daily that fear is not real? Here's an example of when that fear gets activated in me when you're on your way home and I don't know you're on your way home and I haven't heard from you all day. That really helps this fear take hold. Is there any way you could just text me real quick right before you're on your way home? That's not a great example, but I think you get the gist of what I'm trying to say here. Express gratitude, acknowledge and appreciate the small things. Pay attention to what your partner's doing for you and how they're contributing to you. These simple words of thanks go a long way in making your partner feel valued and you feel valued.

Speaker 1: 33:52

Physical affection these surprise, regular hugs, kisses and holding hands promote emotional warmth and connectedness. Shared hobbies, engaging activities you both enjoy whether it's cooking, hiking or reading together Shared interests boost emotional closeness. Just sitting in a room together while you're watching your TV show and they're reading, in and of itself boosts emotional closeness. Practice mindfulness. Doing this together through meditation or yoga or just sitting in nature to connect on a mental and spiritual level, creates closeness as well. You really don't have to be talking with each other to build this close, safe space.

Speaker 1: 34:36

Implementing these strategies will help you create a respectful environment that's conducive to resolving conflicts if they show up later. This is not something you just do when there's conflict. These are daily actions to do to build a strong relationship. I also invite you to seek support for conflict resolution. Oftentimes, couples try to do it on themselves. When a third party can facilitate and mediate a conversation in 10 minutes where it might take you days, somebody like me who's trained in relationship communication can come up with scenarios that the two of you may not have even thought of. It's like an ideation strategy session that honors both of your individual needs and together needs. It's amazing what can happen in a very short amount of time when you meet with a champion who cares about you individually and both of you in a relationship.

Speaker 1: 35:36

Alternatives like relationship coaching and relationship communication. Coaching really focuses on practical skills, the present moment and your relationship success, with actionable advice that you can implement right away. It's not about focusing on your behaviors, what you did wrong, what's wrong with you, and really looking at the past and rehashing it. That's what I love about coaching. It's forward moving and it's championing you as an individual, not making you wrong, and it's championing you as an individual, not making you wrong. I find that people who engage in coaching leave the session really empowered. Professional support offers you several advantages Objective insights.

Speaker 1: 36:23

Therapists or coaches offer unbiased perspectives on conflicts and growth. They provide a structured approach where sessions follow a systematic method to tackle whatever it is you want to create step by step. You'll also learn skill building, specific techniques tailored to your relationship needs and you will also be able to talk things out. So if you're wanting to talk with your partner about something, you can plan the conversation with your coach or therapist, if you have that kind of relationship with them. I love having these planning conversations with my clients, working with them to plan the conversation. Then they go, have the conversation and then we come back and they debrief on how it went and then we adjust if we need to. I just love doing that with my clients. So reach out to me to plan your conversations. I am here for you, and here are five compelling reasons to have a session with a relationship coach. They will provide objective insights.

Speaker 1: 37:30

A relationship communication coach offers unbiased perspectives on conflicts and growth and day-to-day interactions. They can help you see things from different angles, which is incredibly valuable in improving your relationship. They are skilled in truly listening and creating a space for you to just share what's there. They also are skilled in helping you move forward, not backward. They don't spend a lot of time reliving the past ad nauseum. Coaching is about addressing what it is you want to address listening to what's going on and being a champion for you and your relationship. What's going on and being a champion for you and your relationship.

Speaker 1: 38:12

A coach can also help you overcome common barriers to effective communication, such as misunderstandings, assumptions and emotional reactions. They provide tools and strategies to address these barriers proactively. They also provide support and accountability. Having a coach provides ongoing support to you and accountability. It's a judgment-free zone for you. Support to you and accountability. It's a judgment-free zone for you to just come and share. They can help you stay on track with your relationship goals and ensure that you are consistently working towards a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.

Speaker 1: 38:42

Having sessions with your coach on a weekly basis is like that recharging that you do for an electric car. It gives you the empowerment for your week and you're ready to just handle whatever comes your way at work and at home. It's amazing. I am a big fan of having coaches in my life as well, so I walk my talk. If you have any specific questions or want specific advice or coaching, please reach out. You can do that at drdarhawkscom and click the contact link to reach out to me, or you can simply schedule a session with me on that page as well. I hope this has been helpful to you and please, please, please, please, go and check out part two of this podcast, in episode 54, where I will talk about the five primary relationship needs and communication styles.