Ep39 Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

In episode 39 of the Better Relationships Podcast, Dr. Dar Hawks, The Relationship Healer, explores the nuanced topic of relationship breaks and their potential impact on a couple's dynamic. Through a personal anecdote and expert insights, Dr. Dar delves into the seven stages of relationships and how breaks can either be beneficial or detrimental depending on the relationship stage you resonate with and your life circumstances.

Dr. Dar begins by recounting a poignant personal story about a past relationship, setting the stage for a comprehensive discussion on the complexities of taking breaks. She introduces the seven stages of relationships: the Googly Eyes stage, the Adapting stage, the Bickering stage, the Stability stage, the Collaboration stage, the Reconnection stage, and the Complimentary stage. Each stage is examined to highlight how breaks can serve as either a self-care strategy or a potential risk to the relationship.

Listeners are guided to assess their own relationships, considering factors such as the length of time together, life experiences, and willingness to seek professional support. Dr. Dar emphasizes the importance of clear communication, mutual agreements, and understanding individual needs when contemplating a break.

The episode also introduces the Five Sovereign Relationship Needs—Love and Belonging, Freedom, Fun, Power, and Safety and Survival—and how these needs influence the perception and impact of taking a break. Dr. Dar provides practical advice on how to communicate the need for a break, set boundaries, and ensure that the break serves its intended purpose without causing further strain.

For those seeking deeper insights, Dr. Dar invites listeners to take the Sovereign Relationship Needs assessment at needs.drdarhawks.com and offers her support through coaching sessions available at drdarhawks.com. Tune in to gain a better understanding of

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Transcript

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Welcome to episode 39 of the Better Relationships podcast. I'm, doctor Dar, the relationship healer, and today I'm here to talk about understanding whether breaks are healthy for a relationship or not. I'll start with a short personal story. It was a Saturday afternoon in the sticky, humid heat of the day. As I got in the car with my friend who was going to a party at her friend's apartment, I remember her pulling into the parking lot of the apartment building way across town. This apartment complex was huge, several blocks worth, with many, many, many parking areas. But can you believe the one area we pulled into was the one that my then boyfriend had parked his blue Nissan stanza, into a parking spot? I looked up, and I saw his car. This deep sense of foreboding overcame me. I got the courage to get out of the car and walk up to him. As he was getting out of his car. He looked up, saw me, looked stunned, and his eyes were red. I knew right away that we did not have an exclusive relationship as I had thought we did. Still, I wanted to work things out with him, but I also wanted a break from him. That was many a moon ago, and yet the memory is still with me. The pain, not so much. Looking back, taking a break would have been a healthy choice for me. I am certain of that. But I was stuck in stage one of relationships that I'm going to be sharing with you. Having a relationship break can be temporary, a, self care strategy, or a permanent requirement in your relationship or for yourself. Here are the seven stages of relationships and how relationship breaks can be healthy or not, depending on the stage you currently identify with for your relationship, a break can be a good thing. It can be the thing that causes more damage than intended as well, or the thing that you needed to be free from an unhealthy relationship. Please check in on your own relationship as these stages vary widely. Couple to couple and consider the length of time you've been together, the life experiences you've had, and whether or not you're both willing and able to seek professional support from a relationship coach or a therapist to see if you can improve your relationship together and actively work on creating a better, healthier relationship. Here are the seven stages of relationships from my perspective. The first one is the googly eyes stage. You're in love with each other. The attraction between you both is magnetic. You have googly eyes for each other. You know when you look at each other and you just smile and you're happy, and your eyes are, bright and shiny and radiating. I, really care about this person. You're attentive to each other, able to see and help fulfill each other's needs, and you're communicating with sensitivity and love. You both feel neither of you can do anything wrong. You're deeply infatuated with each other, so much so that you overlook small issues and challenges because you love each other. A healthy break in this stage of relationships consists of a short solo trip with friends or on your own for a mental health getaway or even a couple's vacation. With alone time built into the schedule. You and your partner agree on how and when you'll contact each other or you don't. But you're calling each other frequently to stay in touch, and you follow through to communicate with your partner during your trip, ready to share about your day with them. number two, the adapting stage. Things that did not irritate you before seem to be now, but you did not notice them before now. The realization that living together, balancing being an individual with being a couple, negotiating living together with all the things that life has around work and household chores, and managing finances and commingling families and friendships and merging with each other's lives, that all takes effort and collaboration and communication. You're both learning about each other's habits, behaviors, preferences, values, and you're adapting to each other's day to day routines while managing your own life and also adapting to being a couple. Because you've been an individual and a single previously. Breaks in this stage of relationship are usually instigated by a need for time alone. And if you're being honest, to have a bit of a break from your partner, but not to get away from or avoid your partner, it's really about just having some time for yourself. You may, also need a timeout from your partner because there's little signs of the bickering stage starting to show up in your relationship, like leaving a couple of dishes in the sink, but they build up over time. Not cleaning up crumbs on the counter, socks or wet towels on the floor, a cabinet door being left open, or not communicating with you for spending, I don't know, a significant amount of money. You may not have discussed communication plans with your partner, but you still look forward to speaking with them once you've had a bit of alone time to get your thoughts and feelings grounded. The conversations you have seem to be easier by phone because you're able to talk about the things that have been bothering each of you in an easy, respectful way. In this stage, I see breaks as a healthy way to reconnect and collaborate, to resolve small issues in the relationship, but also for self care. Number three, the bickering stage. As the googly eyes fades, couples may start bickering as they begin to see differences in values, expectations, choices that you're making for yourselves and each other that impacts the relationship. Work demands or even communication styles that are different start to manifest in your lives together. Learning to find common ground, negotiate and different communication skills, supportively and constructively is essential during this stage. There's also the drive to push each other, to change each other's behaviors and habits, which causes more conflict and friction. Because honestly, who wants someone else to push us to change? It has to really come from within, in a desire to change who we are or what we're doing. We have to be a choice to do that, and there's a specific way to communicate it. Instead of pushing your partner to change, demanding it, or even telling them to, and then thinking that they don't love you because they're not doing it, it really boils down to how you communicate, how you negotiate, how you find compromise and common ground so that you can find a mutually satisfactory solution. You may also need a break because you're not seeing eye to eye on a few things, or you feel unsupported or unheard. You need time away from your partner to get your head straight and calm down. There may also be the case where you're seeing so much potential in each other that's not being realized. So you push to bring that potential into being, but your partner may not want that or they may not be ready for it yet here it could be a healthy break. If you talk about having a short break to get some space, agree to the length of the break being no more than a few days are clear. It's not about breaking up, but also but about improving your relationship. And you have agreed upon times that you will communicate during the break. Number four, the stability stage. Couples who successfully move through the previous stages do experience a stage of safety and stability, dependability and responsibility, and accountability for each other. And this shows care and a deeper sense well being in the relationship, as well as a deeper form of love. This stage can be long lasting depending on what life circumstances come to you and your partner and how you manage together through them. Couples in the stability stage have established routines that just work for each other, effective communication skills and patterns, healthier behaviors, a ah deep understanding for each other and accept each other. Breaks here are healthy because they're not about your relationship issues and more about self care number five, the collaboration stage. As a couple, you both will grow and change, even if life doesn't throw you curveballs. This comes with self awareness, having aspirations that you're moving forward with self growth and frankly, aging. Wishing things go back to what they were in the googly eye stage is a common thing my clients say they want once they hire me. But you and I know rolling back in time is not possible except in our heads. In this stage, there is a need to collaborate, even compromise, on aspects of your relationship to find ways to reconnect and support each other. You know, compromise isn't giving up on your needs or giving up on your wants, or even giving in to someone else's. It's really about listening to each other's needs and wants and seeing where there's commonality and seeing where you can find connection with each other while also getting your own individual needs met. It's an art to do that and doing it in a neutral way without, a charged tone. And really being able to accept and hear each other is a skill that can be learned. Here you talk about taking getaways on your own, sharing details about the trip, and call each other, often staying in communication. In this scenario, it is about self care, but it's also about relationship care. But I also find that couples who are in the collaboration stage don't have a need to have a lot of breaks or getaway time. It tends to be when there's bickering or there's a life circumstance, creating stress for either partner, requiring some time alone in a new environment. Number six, the reconnection stage. Couples who can make it through the other stages find renewed connection and deeper intimacy. You both rediscover shared interests and honor each other's need for individual interests. There's a deepening of emotional connection and recommitment and investment in your relationship with each other. At this stage, you can talk about anything knowing you're loved, supported, safe, understood and accepted, even amid disagreement or lack of alignment. Breaks here are also about self care, relationship care or tradition like an annual trip you've always taken with friends at a certain time of the year. Number seven, the complimentary stage. This stage is marked by a mutual sense of fulfillment and contentment in your relationship. It's a feeling of acceptance, love and mutual support. You both reflect on your life together, celebrate each other's achievements, and focus on legacy building or enjoying your life together. You complement each other in many ways while also supporting each other's individuality. Neither of you say anything negative about your partner behind their back or lament about your relationship with friends or family. You're committed to getting professional support like therapy or coaching to help you build your relationship and help grow it as you age and as you go through changes in life. Couples who are in the complementary stage prefer to take time off together while also building in time to participate in individual interests. These couples value each other immensely. Trips apart are either traditional, like annual trips with friends, career or hobby related trips, or self care related, but they're not a priority, and oftentimes couples take trips together. If it's a career trip, the partner is invited and that partner does their own thing. While you do your work related thing and then have together time as well, exploring the areas that you've traveled to, it's important that you know these strategies are not linear. Couples could move back and forth between them depending on factors like life or transition events, personal growth, or other stressors that are external to the relationship. Also, not all marriages follow this exact progression, and experiences can vary greatly from couple to couple. Breaks in relationships can be healthy, allowing partners to reflect on their individual needs, take a time out for themselves to recharge, and, if needed, to reflect on the health of their relationship or gain clarity on issues in the relationship, as well as ways to resolve them. If you do take a break, discuss the need for the break honestly with your partner. Make and agree to clear guidelines and ensure your break serves the intended purpose without straining your relationship further. The concept of relationship sabbaticals is a relatively unexplored area in relationship coaching and counseling, but it's a very real thing many couples need as part of their health and well being, as well as that of their relationship. I also have to say that relationship breaks, when done out of anger, hurt feelings, or threats, are unhealthy, as are those involving lying or cheating. Breaks can also consist of having separate bedrooms due to rest and sleep needs, along with a together room for shared or intimacy together. Some couples even live in separate homes because they find their relationship works better that way. To some of you, that may be just so, unheard of, but the reality is different couples have different needs, and and being able to find solutions that work for you as a couple is really no one else's business to judge. Here are some signs that a break is necessary. When communication starts to break down, you and your partner stop effectively communicating with each other. It can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and feelings of resentment and bitterness. If your attempts to communicate openly and honestly are consistently met with resistance or deflection or even defensiveness. It could be a time to take a short break to get your head clear and have some space from each other. Number two, when one of you both start feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, taking breaks allows for some much needed time for self care, giving you both the opportunity to recharge and come back refreshed. Number three, you notice a decrease in or avoidance of intimacy or emotional connection. Relationships thrive on closeness, emotional connection, and open, honest communication. If you notice that, if you notice them fading or being too busy to fit it into your schedule, it's important to address it before it creates more distance and disconnection. My clients have come to me and said, you know, we're so busy, our schedules are so full, that we don't have time to take the time to communicate, or we don't have time just to do things together. The reality is when we unpack their lives together and life circumstances and their schedules, what I find is they're not prioritizing the relationship on their schedules. And so working together to carve out and actually block time for yourself and then time for you and your partner is essentially. Otherwise, your calendar will fill up with everything else. That, frankly, is and could be less important than the relationship you have with your partner. Number four, you feel constantly exhausted, irritable, or even resentful towards your partner taking things out on them. Usually I find my clients have had stressors that are causing irritability or health issues or something else that happened earlier on or in the past that is causing issues or causing them to not get sleep. And the exhaustion and what happens is the little things that your partner does are starting to get on your nerves. And these layers and layers of stress create the result of being tired, irritable, or resentful. Number five, you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities, and you also feel like you have to do it on your own. I have found that when I work with my clients, that this feeling of overwhelm is a very real thing. As is the feeling of having to do it all year on your. As is the feeling. Number six, you feel overwhelmed by all of your responsibilities and as though you have to do it all on your own. When I work with my clients, I find that, yes, overwhelmed by responsibilities and having to do it on your own is a very real thing. But when I unpack things with them, I have found that there are, a few things going on. One, you're such a giver and you're so service oriented, and you don't mind doing things for your partner because that's how you show love and feel valued. But when your calendar gets filled with all kinds of other responsibilities, adding one more thing, just the thought of it exhausts you. But what I found is m that doing all those things that you did for your partner that they can do for themselves for months or years, it then becomes an expectation that you're going to handle it. And there's the telling your partner to help or accusing them or blaming them to say you're not helping. And when they do help, it's not done right or in the way that you wanted it done, or during the time or exactly when you wanted it done. And what was missing is the ask. What's missing is the ask for support in a way that your partner is happy to help and then allowing them and giving them the space to do it when they want to do it, or can do it if you haven't agreed to a time and a date and in the way that they do it. Let's face it, not everyone folds a t shirt the same way or puts dishes in the dishwasher the same way or at the times when you do. Here are the benefits of taking a break in a relationship. Taking breaks can give you much needed time and space to reflect on yourself, your needs and your relationship. Breaks are also about spirituality and journaling and refreshing and recharging and just having some quiet time for yourself. A pause can give you a space to find clarity about your thoughts and feelings, leading to better communication and understanding when you get back to your partner. By taking a break, couples can actually avoid getting caught up in arguments or misunderstandings that are instigated by feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stressed. This time apart also allows each of you to pursue your personal interests or hobbies that have been neglected due to being focused too much on the relationship. Your alone time enhances your sense of fulfillment and well being. Communicating during a break communication during a break in your relationship and making agreements with your partner about the frequency, type and duration of communicating when you're going to communicate and how is important for maintaining understanding and clarity between you while also setting expectations and boundaries. You also should set expectations so that you understand that an immediate response may not be possible. So if your partner texts you or calls you and you leave a message and they don't call you right back right away, that that's not a bad thing. Give each other space and time to call you back or text you back and don't feel like they don't care when they don't respond right away. Communication could involve setting specific times to check in with one another, discussing what topics are off limits or on limits while you're away, and being honest about your feelings and needs and setting a structure and agreement for how long and setting an agreement around your expectation for how long it should take for your partner to respond once you've texted or called. And there may be some boundaries around that. For example, your partner may be in meetings all day and may not be able to get back to

you until 06: 23:47

00 p.m. that evening. And being accepting of that. By openly sharing thoughts and emotions with each other, couples can work through issues that may have contributed to the need for a break in the first place. By openly sharing thoughts and emotions with each other, couples can work through issues that may have contributed to the need for a break in the first place. And it may not be issues about each other, or the relationship, but communicating about stressors and issues that you're having is helpful because your partner will understand you better and be able to support you better. Reconnecting after a break provides an opportunity for you both to reaffirm your commitment to each other, set new boundaries, or expect expectations moving forward and getting support from your partner for whatever it is that was bothering you. I find that when there are things getting to us, like, it could be a work situation that happened months ago, but it's still, you know, subconsciously festering in you. And then there's additional stressors. Stressors that get layered on over time. And then all of a sudden, things that your partner says or does is just, you just can't take it anymore until you lash out on them. Having time away will help you recognize that it's not about your partner. There are other things going on. So keeping the lines of communication open and sharing your thoughts with each other after your break, as you get clarity about what's really going on, can really help your relationship and help your partner understand that it's not them that's the issue. Keeping lines of communication open also helps build trust with your partner, even during challenging times when things are not necessarily going well between you. Reconnecting after a break provides an opportunity for you both to reaffirm your commitment to each other, set, new boundaries or expectations moving forward as well. By approaching this process with patience, empathy, and sincerity and honesty, you can strengthen your relationship and create a more solid foundation for long term happiness and fulfillment. Here are some strategies for communicating about the need for a break when approaching your need for a break in your relationship with your partner. Go to the conversation with deep empathy and understanding. Share your feelings openly and honestly without blaming or criticizing your partner. This may be cliche, but it's a very real strategy in how to communicate. Use I statements that convey your emotions without putting your partner on the defensive. For example, saying, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted right now. There's just so much going on at work and I'm just feeling, overwhelmed with everything going on at home and stuff. With family. I think I need a break and that could help me recharge. I'd love to go to a spa or a hotel for two days and would you support me with that? That's a way more effective way of saying it than you're always so demanding and never give me space. Scheduling dedicated time to have this conversation in a peaceful, supportive environment creates a safe space for open communication. Taking breaks in a relationship does not mean that you're breaking up, and it can be beneficial for maintaining good health and harmony in your relationship. Ensure that you're supporting each other and assuring each other that it's not about breaking up, it's about having a break. If that's a concern one or either of you have, and you'll be able to tell by the things your partner says, what's going on, they'll start getting worried and asking curious questions or worried type questions, and it's important when you notice that to reassure them. Having time apart also occasionally offers the opportunity to increase appreciation for each other's strengths with a renewed sense of gratitude for your relationship. I emphasize the importance of trust, open communication, blatant honesty, a soft tone, and balancing individuality with being a couple. If any of these elements are lacking, a break might provide an opportunity for you to reflect, reassess your feelings, and work on self growth. A, break should not be used as an escape from addressing issues or concerns in your relationship. It's essential to have clear communication about the purpose of the break, the rules during the break, and a plan to eventually discuss your relationship. If the break is to address things or get clarity about things happening in the relationship, here are some misconceptions of taking a break in the relationship. Number one, breaks mean breaking up. Unfortunately, people in your life assume and will advise you that taking a break is just another way of breaking up. The truth is, a break does not always equate to a breakup. Number two, avoiding conflict. While a break can provide temporary relief from ongoing issues, the intention is not to sweep problems under the rug or to avoid conflict. The intention is to get time away to sort through your feelings, get some much needed rest, and come up with options for resolution for yourself so that when you come back, you can have a really wonderful conversation with your partner when the time is right. The assumption that there's no dating during the break. Some people assume that they or their partner won't date others during the break, or flirt with others or get emotionally intimate with someone else. It's a bad idea to assume that's the case. It's a good idea early in the relationship when you first get together to have a conversation about how you each define cheating, how you each approach and think about flirting and how far that goes and what that looks like. Most couples don't have that conversation. They just assume and years later find that not having that conversation leads to a disagreement on what flirting is or what cheating is or what emotional intimacy in cheating is or is not. So it's a good idea to reaffirm that you won't be seeking solace elsewhere or that you'll be seeking solace from, your relationship coach or support from your relationship coach or a family member. It's really important that you share with your partner who you're going to be speaking with about what's going on, because it really needs to be them or a therapist or a coach before you speak to them. So having these ground rules, communicating expectations clearly, and making these agreements with your partner is important before you take your break. Number four, you won't miss your partner. It's a common belief that you won't miss your partner during a break. But I have found that the break actually makes you realize how much you value your partner in relationship and that you miss your partner. Oftentimes, my clients, when they take breaks, they end the break sooner than originally planned and get home to their partners. Number five, assuming all problems will be solved by taking a break, there's a misconception that during a break or after a break, all previous problems will magically disappear. Whether they're about the relationship, your partner, a family member, or a crisis at work. A break is time for self reflection as growth, as I've mentioned before, but it doesn't automatically resolve issues. It just gets you to a point of having calm, peace, harmony, and recognizing that you have a different mindset. You're not immersed in the problem mindset, but you're now shifting to a space of being able to see things in a different light. While breaks can be beneficial, in some cases, they really are not for everyone. It's important to consider the specific needs and requirements not only of yourself, but also of your partner and your relationship. Instead of figuring this out for yourself or with your partner, if that feels uncomfortable or doesn't go well, you could seek professional relationship coaching to help guide you in a more expeditious, supportive and moving forward moving way, but also helping you to build and plan the conversation so that it goes well and to have your mindset and your mood and your energy in the right place so that your partner receives in a more supportive way. Now I want to share with you how breaks can be perceived based on my body of work that I call the five sovereign relationship needs. These five sovereign relationship needs are love and belonging, freedom, fun, power and safety, and survival. I invite you to discover your primary sovereign relationship need by taking my assessment at needs dot drdarhawks.com. if your primary sovereign relationship need is love and belonging, taking a break in a relationship can be devastating, especially if it was instigated by your partner. This need is often manifested as a desire for deeper connection and a space to be closer to your partner. But that's contrary to actually taking a break away from your partner. When a break is initiated by your partner, it can create feelings of uncertainty and anxiety and disconnection from your partner. You may worry about losing emotional support and companionship that you get from your relationship, or worry that something's wrong, you did something wrong, or your partner is wanting to break up with you. None of those may be true, but you're over analysis and overthinking it creates those feelings. Also, during the break, you may struggle with feelings of loneliness or isolation as your need for love and belonging is not being met. Dealing with your emotions during the break can be overwhelming to the point of feeling stymied. Or you could question and doubt the future of your relationship, even if there's no indication of that occurring. If your primary sovereign relationship need is power, taking a break can be both empowering but also challenging. This need manifests as a desire for control and influence, not just for yourself, but for your partner and in the relationship. When a break is initiated by your partner, it can create a feeling of loss of control or feeling out of control and feeling powerless. During the break. You might struggle with feeling out of control because you feel maybe that you've lost your influence over the relationship. You may try to talk your partner out of having a break or trying to control how they take the break or what you do during the break. You could also feel a sense of insecurity as your need for power and control is not being met. This can lead to feelings of discomfort or unease, which can further complicate the process of taking a break. Now, I'm not talking about the kind of power that is manipulative and disempowering to you as a partner. It's really about empowerment, feeling accomplished, and a sense of achievement. And so if a break isn't is needed or initiated, there's feelings of failure that could be at play as well. If you have the primary sovereign relationship need of fun, taking a break can be misunderstood. This need manifests as a desire for joy, laughter, shared moments of bliss, adventure, and spontaneity in the relationship. On the other hand, having a break to inject some fun into your own life could be perceived as not taking the relationship or your partner seriously enough and prioritizing fun over love or your partner or the relationship. Or if your partner is the one who initiated the break, you might think your partner has feelings of boredom or is no longer excited because their need for fun or lightheartedness is not being met. For someone who has the freedom sovereign relationship need as their primary relationship need, they need space and they need time away on a regular basis. So needing a break for them is not about getting away from you. It's about getting away from everything and having quiet time for themselves to do what they want, when they want. And so it can be challenging for the partner who didn't initiate the break because they may think that their partner isn't prioritizing the relationship is wanting to get away from them and the relationship m or they may worry that they're breaking up. So it's important if your primary sovereign relationship need is freedom to assure your partner of why you need the break and what you'll be doing during the break and how and when you'll communicate so that the relationship is still nurtured while you're still satisfying your need for freedom. For someone who has a safety and survival primary sovereign relationship need, taking a break can be heartbreaking. This need often manifests as a desire for safety, security, stability, and assurances within the relationship. When a break is initiated, it can create feelings of lack of safety, insecurity, and instability, which can be distressing for someone who values safety and survival in their relationship. You might worry about losing your sense of security and the assurance that the relationship provides during the break. You may struggle with feelings of fear or anxiety as the need for safety and survival again is not being met. You also may feel a sense of vulnerability or feel threatened for the same reason. If you're wondering by now which I hope you are what your primary sovereign relationship need is I invite you to take my assessment at needs dot drdarhawks.com. it'll only take you a few minutes and you'll find out what your primary sovereign relationship need is. But you'll also find out about your secondary one and your shadow one, which is the one that does not bring out the best in you or in your relationship when it gets triggered or activated. Keep in mind that a break is not a breakup necessarily. Breaks can provide an opportunity for self discovery, personal growth, and it also is a way to bring you closer together to deepen your relationship. During this time, you can reflect on your own needs, whether they're being met, ways to get them met focus on career planning or goal planning, or maybe you have aspirations that you just want to jot down on paper and plan out and having some alone time to figure all that out. You can also use this time to work on personal development and self care, taking some classes on your own, which ultimately contribute to creating a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with your partner. While taking a break can have its own challenges, it's important to approach it with a positive mindset and see it as an opportunity rather than a setback for you and your relationship. It's also crucial to learn how to communicate, even down to the words that you'll use. Map out your conversation and timing for the conversation and what you need to have from your partner in order to have the conversation. Check your mood and your energy around it, your mindset around it, and be ready for it. A relationship coach can help you do that very quickly instead of you being in your head and oftentimes taking so much time to figure it out for yourself actually creates layers of more stress. So I do invite you to hire a coach to work with you who can help you navigate taking a break and having that conversation with your partner and working with them during your break to support you in creating what you're looking for and actually achieving the outcome that you desire from having taken the break. If you do have thoughts about taking the break or there are stresses in the relationship or concerns, but you don't know how to approach it, are worried about your relationship or something else that's causing stress and you want some support, why don't you get on my calendar and let's chat. I truly am here for you. You can do that by going to drdarhawks.com and clicking on the contact button or the services button and select the better, relationships huddle. If you're ready to book a session. I look forward to meeting you there. And in the next episode.