Ep29 Shift the Power Dynamic in Your Relationship Today With One Small Action

In this episode, I talk about the power of language in relationships and how a shift from traditional titles like 'husband' or 'wife' to 'partner' can change the power dynamics in your relationship. I'll cover:

1. The historical roots of terms like husband and wife reflect societal inequalities.
2. Five ways these words may devalue women: Historical Inequality, Stereotypes, Limited Independence, Imposed Responsibilities.
3. How using the term ‘partner’ promotes equality beyond traditional gender roles and stereotypes.
4. The impact of respectful language on our perception of roles in relationships.

And make a case as to why you should Shift to Using ‘Partner’.
Further Resources:
- Book a coaching session at www.relationshiphuddle.me for shifting the power dynamics in your relationship.
- Take my quiz at https://needs.drdarhawks.com to better understand your unconscious needs leading to fulfilling partnerships.

Remember - Love is a partnership best encapsulated by the term partner itself! Tune in next time as we continue exploring ways to build stronger connections with those around us!

Follow me on your favorite platforms for more insightful discussions about bettering relationships!

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Welcome to the Better Relationships Podcast where Dr. Dar Hawks shares relationship tips and advice to help you be seen, heard, understood, and supported in your relationships.  Taking on tough topics and giving you hope, inspiration, and ideas to experiment with, Dr. Dar Hawks is passionate about creating healthier, happier, and harmonious relationships... 
Because when you are happy in your relationship, the world becomes a better place for all of us.

Transcript

1:00

Today I am talking about and asking you to start using the word partner instead of the words husband or wife, and I'll share why you should and how it'll help you shift the power dynamics in your relationship. Let's get started, shall we? The power of words in your romantic relationship, words are more than mere clusters of words. They carry weight, history, and have implications that go way beyond their dictionary definitions. So the words you choose in your relationships are extremely significant, especially the ones you use to identify your significant other to yourself or to each other or to others in your life. It's essential to understand the impact of these labels, especially the conventional terms husband and wife, and how they may unconsciously and inadvertently perpetuate inequality and an imbalance of power in your relationship. The traditional titles of husband and wife have deep, long ranging historical, religious, societal, and traditional roots at a time when women were deemed secondary, less than, and even subservient to men. In addition to being considered the property of men, the term husband originally meant householder or housemaster in Old Norse, while wife simply referred to a woman, like wife equaled the word woman. These labels show an imbalance of power and drastically and dramatically contribute to the building and, propagation of inequality in our relationships. As I said, words hold immense meaning and create influence in our relationships. They shape how you view and interact with your significant other. And that's why it's important to consider the impact of the labels we use, especially when it comes to the words husband and wife. So here are five ways those words may diminish the value of women. There's historical inequality. The etymology or history of these terms shows a demonstrated imbalance of power, even in the legal world, with husband assuming a dominant role. An example of this is women could not get their own credit card or bank account until the mid 1970s on their own without their spouses signing on their behalf. Secondly, there's a perpetuation of stereotypes that's really hurting society today and hurting women, causing pain to women who are so desperately and not desperately, but are working so hard to take care of their families, because, frankly, the man in the relationship or their spouse or partner is not showing up or is not contributing the way they need to or the way family needs them to. So these titles perpetuate and enforce gender stereotypes, with the wife expected to maintain the household and the husband being the primary breadwinner. This causes issues in, single family households and where the caregiver or primary breadwinner is taking care of the family and ensuring, wanting to make sure that their needs are met. But when you live in a society where the wife or women are expected to stay home and take care of the family and not get pregnant and not have babies and be treated as complete equals in the workplace, it's really challenging, because at the end of the day, men and women are different. Our needs are different, our requirements are different, our biology and physiology is different. And trying to keep things equal, in a mathematical or logical sense, just doesn't work. And it creates huge issues for us as women. So when you shift to start using the word partner instead of husband and wife, you model and demonstrate that you've grown past the limitations of these gender roles and stereotypes in your relationships. Role conflicts can also start to be eliminated by, shifting your thinking and treating your partner and yourself as equal partners in your relationship. And when you start using the word partner in the workplace, it does start to shift the power dynamic. The words husband and wife also infer limited independence. The traditional roles associated with husband and wife can hinder or even discourage individual growth and independence. I have worked with couples where just, shifting their perspective on using the words husband or wife to partner created a different mindset, a different way of seeing each other, and seeing each other as partners in life instead of these gender based roles. It really changed the dynamic in their relationship. The other thing, using those terms also creates imposed responsibilities, because those terms come with cultural, financial, religious, and societal expectations that then limit a woman's potential and freedom. Having the mindset and the historical baggage of using the terms husband and wife unintentionally creates an energetic subservience in the relationship. It creates a woman, to have moments when they feel inferior or not worthy in the relationship. And simply shifting to the word partner will create healthy power dynamics from the unhealthy. Because the historical baggage of using husband and wife inadvertently reinforces unhealthy power dynamics in the relationship, there are ten reasons to make this shift from using the term husband or wife to embracing the word partner. The first is equality. The word partner immediately implies an equal partnership with shared responsibilities, decisions, and power. The word husband and wife don't. The second is respect. Using the word partner instead of husband or wife signifies mutual respect and understanding, free from ancestral or historical baggage. Respect diminishes in relationships where one partner is thought of as less than the worth of the other. And this happens time and time and time again in relationships. I'm sure as you're hearing this, you can actually think of couples or situations where you've observed couples where this may be true. The third one is flexibility. The word partner doesn't confine you to traditional gender, roles, allowing for flexibility in defining your relationship with your partner your way. The fourth one is individual and relationship growth. It encourages individual growth and independence within your relationship, but it also allows for space and encourages growing together as a couple. Collaboration choosing the term partner instead of husband or wife emphasizes teamwork, fostering cooperation, collaboration and mutual support. It's also inclusive as a gender neutral term. It doesn't have any baggage about relationship roles or expectations, so it makes it inclusive for your relationship and frankly, all types of relationships. The term partner shows and demonstrates progress that women have made tremendous progress and strides over the last century. This subtle language shift, aligns with progress towards relationship equality and societal and personal evolution. Using the word partner also creates empowerment. It empowers both individuals and promotes a sense of shared ownership and commitment. Open communication using the word partner immediately melts any walls that are up that are created from the terms husband and wife in the historical connotation and context of them. Using the word partner immediately encourages open and equal communication. It really just shifts the energy in your body to being more open. And lastly, a partnership signifies a strong bond that can withstand challenges, create resilience in the long term in the relationship. Embracing this word partner, this simple language change will build confidence and strengthen your relationship, and frankly, it models healthy relationship behaviors with equality and inclusion. As I was doing my research around the power of using the word partner, I read time and time again that experts advocate for the importance of respectful language in your relationships. They and I believe that the choice of words can influence how you perceive your relationship roles and consequently then affect your interactions, your feelings, expectations and experiences in your relationship. The shift to using the word partner is a consequential and crucial essential step forward in fostering healthier communication and balance in your relationship. So today, I invite you to choose your words wisely. The simple action of choosing to say partner instead of husband, or wife can contribute significantly to nurturing equality in your relationship and in yourself. Remember, language is powerful and the words you choose matter. So consider the impact of your language choices on your relationships going forward and get started by using the term partner and observe as you use this word, how it fosters greater equality, collaboration and open communication within yourself and in your romantic partnership. Love is a partnership, and there's no better word to encapsulate that than partner. By the way, if you feel that your partner and your relationship makes you feel like you are inferior at times, or you feel like you are dishonored, disrespected, or even dismissed or not, paid attention to I invite you to schedule a relationship coaching session with me so that I can help you build a more equal power dynamic into your relationship. You can do that by going to www. Dot Relationshiphuddle me. I, look forward to meeting you there.